Identification is Like a Thick Layer of Fog

Identification is like a thick cloud that prevents us from seeing clearly. It obscures the view beyond our ego structure. Most of us are moving through life in a fog. For some the fog is thick and constant. For others, it comes and goes.

Here’s a common example of being in the fog. You accidentally cut someone off on the highway. They start honking at you. Immediately, a wave of shame arises. That shame hooks into a thought “I’m a fuckup” and the mind begins to spiral. On the flip side, you get angry at them to deflect the shame so you can position yourself above them instead of below.

In that moment, you identify with the emotions and thoughts that arise. You tie them to your sense of self. There’s an impulse to attach story and meaning in order to solidify an identity.

If the same situation happened outside the fog, you’d see more clearly. You’d notice that your car moved too close to another. They perceived it in a certain way. Based on that perception, emotion arose, and they expressed themselves. You would see this as someone expressing their experience within the field of awareness. It wouldn’t feel personal, it would feel like experience unfolding within the field.

You’d likely still note to be more careful next time, but the experience wouldn’t be tied to your sense of self. From this clarity, compassion arises naturally. Not because it makes you a better person, but as a natural unfolding when seeing through identification, drama, and meaning making. With clarity we gain a better vantage point, and from that vantage point, a deeper compassion for situations where people are stuck in a thick layer of fog.

Recently, I found myself inside the fog. I had to pause and recognize that I was no longer seeing clearly. When I noticed the belief I was identifying with, the fog began to lift. It's as if I stepped back into pure awareness and the fog disappeared. From there, it became clear just how many distortions I had been clinging to. It’s can be shocking how distorted our perception of reality can become when we’re caught in these clouded states of experience.

Another time, the identification was subtler and far less emotionally charged. It wasn’t so much being in the fog as noticing that I was identifying with a belief. When I looked more closely, I found several other beliefs that were just as plausible. As I began to see the situation from multiple angles, the original belief slowly lost its grip.

Eventually, it became clear that none of the meanings held any inherent truth. Each scenario a construct created to support a story. Once those stories lost their hold, the situation resolved into a neutral exchange between two people. Impersonal, just experience meeting experience, arising and dissolving without emotional charge, without rumination, and without needing to be carried forward.